Sunday with Granny

So I always see patterns that have lovely crochet borders and I think, I wish I could crochet. Then I pause and think, I don't want to freakin' crochet. Yesterday, while I was surfing the web for yarn porn and the like, I came across a new blogger, Matt. He's a phenomenal, crocheter and his latest post of a granny square blanket is breathtaking in its simplicity! It's multi-colored granny squares, bordered in white. Follow the link on his name, it's worth the look!

I thought, I wish I could crochet. Then I paused and said, I'm going to teach myself how to crochet a granny square!

Well, it's been 24 hours and I wouldn't actually say I've master the granny square but after many failed attempts, I have a square-ish, crocheted piece of fabric. That's the best I can say about it. You be the judge.

This is what I don't get about crochet.

Video bloggers explain how to crochet in step by step directions. The problem ... my swatch doesn't even remotely resemble their swatch so who can really follow step by step directions.

They say things like, insert the hook into the 3rd double crochet. The problem ... I wouldn't recognize the 3rd double crochet if it had a red, neon arrow pointing at it. Damn, I can barely recognize a PSSO when I'm tinking and I've been knitting for years!

Then they say things like, simply continue double crocheting into the same space/hole until you have 3 shells separated by 2 chain stitches for each corner. The problem ... who the hell can tell where the hole is from one double crochet to the next and for that matter, who can find any of these holes on command (the damn thing looks like swiss cheese)!

Then they say things like, pause the video if you need to catch up. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. You've been warned. The problem ... who can tell where you left off and then where to queue the video so it's in the same place. The whole thing is so repetitive and it looks exactly the same (but it's not) so it's impossible to match the video to your swatch. Just try to keep up and pray they'll get distracted by the dog barking or a screaming child in the background so you can catch up!

In the end, this little square was fun to crochet! Don't expect any major crochet projects but if I can master a color change or two, a pillow like Matt's blanket would be cool.

Edit: I realized that I didn't give credit to the one YouTuber who finally helped me figure it out! Bethintx1! She said all the things everyone else said but somehow, she made sense!