Tuesday, July 31, 2007

How HOT is it?

As promised, I've got a little to tell you about my “drive across America”. I begin in L.A. driving away from my crappy apartment on Corteen Place watching my partner of 9 years get smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. Inside an hour, all my thoughts of loneliness, fear and regret were overshadowed by the fact I was lost (50 miles from home) and in desperate need of a bathroom. For those who know me well, you will see the irony in this knowing that this phenomenon is not a 'regular' occurrence for me. I quickly figured out where I went wrong and took evasive action – first stopping at the dirtiest McDonald's somewhere near Rancho Cucamonga – a place that is much more fun to say than visit. For your references, the 210 does not connect directly to the 10, you need to take the 57 for a short jaunt. Who knew? Shame on you AAA!

Well I got back on track and headed for Palm Springs, appropriately listening to a soundtrack to an old New York off off-Broadway show called Naked Boys Singing. How perfect is that? Stopping in Palm Springs was tempting but it seemed too close to home and I decided to head on knowing that once I was out of California I'd be in better emotional shape.

And before I could say Arizona here I come, the boredom and the heat came with avengeance (is that a word?). It was really, really fucking hot in Arizona. Arizona has without a doubt the most horrible “rest” stations in the country. There's no shade and no where to rest. I ask you how am I supposed to rest in 100 degree heat, no shade and no air conditioning? I did what I could. I had this great product called Swimming Pool in a Can, which is nothing more than a can of water compressed with air. It doesn't really feel like a swimming pool (quelle suprise!) but it makes you wet and then the 100 degree breeze feels like 99 degrees. Yahoo!!!! Arizona seemed to go on forever and just like that I was in New Mexico. It cooled a bit and I decided to take it easy on myself and wander around some back roads, possibly stop for the night and hope I didn't meet anyone from the cast of Deliverance. I also decided to use as much air conditioning as I wanted to and if the car couldn't take it/overheated or spontaneously combusted, I'd leave it where ever I might be and get myself a new one. I had some fried dough thingy from a stand on the side of the road from a 700 year old couple fried by sun like raisins and decided to go to sleep for the night in Las Cruces, NM. Now as a grown man, I'm a little embarrassed to say this but I was a little scared in the hotel. I felt very alone in Las Cruces, NM that night so I stacked some shit in front of the door and remembered that I could do anything. I dreamed of my future, stared out the window and finally fell asleep alone in a strange bed in a strange place without one tear for the first time in a month.

Random Observations: Do you think it matters that I'm KnitguyLA but I don't live in LA? Stuff like that usually bugs me but I'm contemplating KnitguyFL. Am I overthinking it?


mehitabel said...

Had to drive to AZ (from LA) last year, and it was so freakin' hot I couldn't imagine how anyone could stand it! (My daughter was stuck there for 2 whole weeks, and the rest of the family took turns driving out to spend time with her.) I remembered it being hot from my drive out years ago, but it was way worse. And yeah, the rest stops are a joke, and the gas stations? No one should ever be that desperate!

knitguyla said...

I feel for you. I know that pain but the saving grace is New Mexico is on the other side!

Dave Daniels said...

I was wondering why you were KnitGuyLA, and in FL. Thanks, that clarifies things.
Oh, and I saw Naked Guys Singing IN New York. Once you get over the fact that they are all naked, the singing wasn't that great!

knitguyla said...

Dave, I've questioned the knitguy LA vs FL thing but I don't think FL is the last stop in this journey. So for today I'm knitguyla. In the meantime, I'm taking suggestions for what LA can mean for the interim.

As for the show, I don't think the show's appeal was ever meant to be the singing.