17,280

Yes, that's how many people are ahead of me on Ravelry. I don't know about you, but I'm not holding my breath for that invite. I know I've been busy with life but how out of touch can I be? Was I the only one who didn't know there was a waiting list? From what I hear, it's worth the wait so I guess I'll let you know. I just hope it's before my 80th b-day!

So life in Florida continues to amaze. This week I went to the dog races. I didn't even think they still had dog races. It's kind of like the horse track but without the jockeys and class - dare I say the horse track has class but at least they have a restaurant where you can get a steak! The dog races have a concession stand and the only nice thing I can say about it is I didn't get sick or need hospitalization. Even the ice cream looked dirty, how does ice cream look dirty? Horrible, depressed, dirty people with yellow fingernails from too many Camels everywhere you looked. One woman was there with her granddaughter, it was frightening! But I smiled and cheered for #3!

 

Further, since all zero of you responded to my query about knitguyLA vs. knitguyFL, for the time being I'm sticking with LA. After all, if you've got an Italian name and convert to Judaism you don't change your name to Schwartz, right? It's still up for grabs as I registered the FL version.

Hurricane Dean is making his way through the Caribbean and is not on the path to hit FL but I bought a case of Spring water anyway - $3.99 for a 24-pack. Can you believe that price? It's the local brand water and sells by the bottle for a buck so I couldn't pass up this deal. I'm in 'retirement central' for 6 weeks and I'm already psyched by a sale. I still say the dog races were scarier!

Some post scripts to my Drive Across America

In Junction, Texas if you stop at the only place in the entire town, a 7-11 style place, they serve "Bellarico's New York Style Pizza" and there's signage for it out on the interstate. They serve this gastronomical delight out of a rotating heat unit. The crust is about 4 inches thick and doesn't resemble NY pizza in any way but in Junction, Texas, the clerk claimed it was the real thing (insert heavy Southern Drawl here)! I had a Hostess style cup cake and a Mountain Dew instead - I was trying to blend. They still kill gay people there, you can never be too careful and how often do you get to each a cup cake and do the Dew in public!

Oh, that same day, somewhere near Houston, a DJ on the radio said "tard" and not one person called in to give him hell! Welcome to the proud home state of our Prez, GWB!

And apparently, Texans are very serious about not being on the median. They must have a $10 million budget for the "keep off the median" signs - after all, it's a big state and what's on the median anyway that we're so desperately trying to keep everyone off of? I mean really, there's one of these signs every 1/4 mile! What's that about?

I know it may appear that I'm picking on Texas but it's a big state and took up a big portion of the trip AND I am! Goodnite everyone.

How HOT is it?

As promised, I've got a little to tell you about my “drive across America”. I begin in L.A. driving away from my crappy apartment on Corteen Place watching my partner of 9 years get smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. Inside an hour, all my thoughts of loneliness, fear and regret were overshadowed by the fact I was lost (50 miles from home) and in desperate need of a bathroom. For those who know me well, you will see the irony in this knowing that this phenomenon is not a 'regular' occurrence for me. I quickly figured out where I went wrong and took evasive action – first stopping at the dirtiest McDonald's somewhere near Rancho Cucamonga – a place that is much more fun to say than visit. For your references, the 210 does not connect directly to the 10, you need to take the 57 for a short jaunt. Who knew? Shame on you AAA!

Well I got back on track and headed for Palm Springs, appropriately listening to a soundtrack to an old New York off off-Broadway show called Naked Boys Singing. How perfect is that? Stopping in Palm Springs was tempting but it seemed too close to home and I decided to head on knowing that once I was out of California I'd be in better emotional shape.

And before I could say Arizona here I come, the boredom and the heat came with avengeance (is that a word?). It was really, really fucking hot in Arizona. Arizona has without a doubt the most horrible “rest” stations in the country. There's no shade and no where to rest. I ask you how am I supposed to rest in 100 degree heat, no shade and no air conditioning? I did what I could. I had this great product called Swimming Pool in a Can, which is nothing more than a can of water compressed with air. It doesn't really feel like a swimming pool (quelle suprise!) but it makes you wet and then the 100 degree breeze feels like 99 degrees. Yahoo!!!! Arizona seemed to go on forever and just like that I was in New Mexico. It cooled a bit and I decided to take it easy on myself and wander around some back roads, possibly stop for the night and hope I didn't meet anyone from the cast of Deliverance. I also decided to use as much air conditioning as I wanted to and if the car couldn't take it/overheated or spontaneously combusted, I'd leave it where ever I might be and get myself a new one. I had some fried dough thingy from a stand on the side of the road from a 700 year old couple fried by sun like raisins and decided to go to sleep for the night in Las Cruces, NM. Now as a grown man, I'm a little embarrassed to say this but I was a little scared in the hotel. I felt very alone in Las Cruces, NM that night so I stacked some shit in front of the door and remembered that I could do anything. I dreamed of my future, stared out the window and finally fell asleep alone in a strange bed in a strange place without one tear for the first time in a month.

Random Observations: Do you think it matters that I'm KnitguyLA but I don't live in LA? Stuff like that usually bugs me but I'm contemplating KnitguyFL. Am I overthinking it?

Days of our Lives

Well I'm back and haven't got a clue where to start. Should I begin with my partner and I of 9 years breaking up or my new job or my new job that happens to be in Florida or my drive alone across country? Yes, it's all true. It's been a turbulent time in my life (which is why I haven't posted obviously) and although I have no new knitting I can assure you there's plenty to report.

Yes, my partner and I separated after 9 years and it's been an extraordinarily frightening and sad time but one that has been filled with self-healing and discovery. We decided to make our breakup as amicable as possible and respect the years we spent together by not making the end angry and bitter. All this began back in May and to our credit we made it happen. Within ten days of his announcement, he moved out and I came home to our crappy North Hollywood apartment looking even crappier and contemplated my life. I came to the conclusion that the only reason I was in Los Angeles was for him and his career. My career never really flourished there and after 6 years I never really adjusted. What I discovered somewhere across Texas is that there's nothing wrong with L.A. In fact, there are many really nice things about it. Believe it or not, I think L.A. is like NYC in one very important way. I love NYC, it will always be my home but to live there you have to be very young or very rich and I think L.A. has that same quality. I'm going to respect my ex's privacy and my dignity and save whatever else I may say about our relationship/breakup for another day and post.. Until then, I thank my family and friends who have been so supportive during this horrible time. I couldn't have done it without you and thank you all more than you'll ever know.

The journey begins with my new job and it came to me just when I needed it most. It's as far from Los Angeles as you can get in southwest Florida with a former employer and 15 minutes from my parents' winter home in Ft. Myers. It all happened so fast. I sent an on-line application and 5 days later I was negotiating a final deal – all 2 weeks after my breakup! Can you say freaking out? I thought I'd lost my mind! Sane people don't really make change in their lives when everything is turning upside down on it own, do they? But in reality, this job allows for more security, money and a future with a global company that could take me almost anywhere in the world. By accepting the job, I knew I couldn't hold up in my apartment in North Hollywood and hide under the covers eating chocolates expecting things to right themselves with my partner. Instead, I hid under the covers for a few days, ate some chocolates and then made a conscious decision to start the healing process. I questioned my decision ten thousand times, packed half a life into boxes and drove across country in the next 6 weeks.

In the coming days and weeks, I'm going share some highlights of my drive across country by myself -- which is something everyone should do in their lifetime. I'd done it twice before but never alone. It's a contemplative time that helped me find a part of me that had been lost for some time. He's making his way back and this time I get to hold fast to the parts of him who are truly the best facets of Joe. I'm not healed, I don't know if I ever will be but with the help of amazing people and a dramatic turn of events, I've started the process. On my drive across America as I called it, I discovered a couple of things. The first is that being alone and being lonely are very different states of being. One lifts you up and let's you see who you are & how great you can be and the other drives you straight to the donut aisle and/or the cigarette machine! I'm happy to report that somewhere across New Mexico, I decided I wouldn't let that happen. Crazy Aunt Purl got divorced, gained 20 lbs and got a book deal in the end. I'm happy to report I've lost 20 lbs. and for the first time in my life I'm on my way to becoming an athlete -- "Ex fat kid turns Expert Fitness Author", hmmm?! If a book deal comes I won't complain ... are you listening Rand McNally? In the meantime, I'll watch the lightening storms, listen to the rain and bask in the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico! Happy Knitting! Love, Joe

No Knitting....

no posting - it's an easy equation! Yeah, that's right, there's not much to post to one's knitting blog when you haven't been knitting. I came off the high of the Vagina Blanket and just didn't want to get into anything new. I've got the baby hoodie on the needles and all that's left is the hood itself but I'm bored to tears with it and can't even muster the energy to cast-on. If someone will come over and cast-on for me, I'm sure I'd work on it.

Otherwise, I've been, don't say it, cover your ears, crocheting! Yes, I've crossed over to the dark side and embraced the anti-christ (as I often refer to the hook). It's actually quite easy and in no time, you've got something, albeit a potholder. Who knew? I sure didn't, why hadn't anyone shared this with me. And ever since I started the crochet learning process, I can't walk out of the house or get on the internet without a flood of granny squares all up in my face so I figured I better learn how to make one. And I did, my prototype is only one color so not really worth posting a photo. As this new skill slowly improves, I'll share.

Otherwise, I went to The Grove last Thursday to shop for my my birthday and maybe stop by Stitch 'n Bitch. I had the day off so I decided to go congratulate Laurie on her book as well as go to to meet Ellen and Frank, I love all their blogs! I really wanted to meet Ellen because she loves L.A. so much and I need some of that. But when I got there, always my luck, I didn't see any of them. Now I'm sure everyone who was there was great but I didn't want to be all, "Oh Laurie, Ellen and Frank aren't here, that's why I really came but I'll just sit and knit awhile with whoever you guys are!" Of course, that's not how I would have felt but knowing me, it's how it would have somehow sounded. So I headed home with my purchases -- a new keychain from Coach and this amazing magnetic braclet (that was totally making my hand feel better) that I have already lost. It was inevitable, it stuck to anything metal but 4 days is even a record for me.

C'est la vie and Happy Freakin' Birthday to me!

Vagina Chronicles II

Camera skills improving or just the gift of natural light? Of course there's light but not all that much, it's cloudy today! Los Angeles, Southern California, the land of perpetual sun and today it's cloudy. Guess how many truly cloudy days we get here - about 3, there's today and probably another in about 100 days or so. But look anyway....



And look here....

Vagina Chronicles

So shoot me, the blanket's done, how many more chances will I get to use vagina in a post title? Yes, the blanket is completed and the baby arrived yesterday - timing is everything as they say. It will soon be mailed and gone forever. In all honesty, I have very little, well no use for a baby blanket yet I'm already having separation anxiety. This project makes me feel like a real knitter and I can't wait to take more pictures of it tomorrow but I couldn't resist getting at least one shot of it up tonight.

Of course, I am still disappointed with my complete and total lack of photography skills but at least I can enjoy it in person for a day or so more.

Last thing, my obsessive compulsive side is working overtime on this one. Do I simply wrap it beautifully in the box or do I ensure its safety from some unknowing postal worker's morning coffee (and lose some drama upon delivery) and safely tuck it inside a ziploc for travel? Am I being paranoid? Let me know, post your recommendations in the comments! You may think ... blatant ploy for comments or true paranoia? Feel free to post about that as well, if you must. knitguy.

Baby Everything!

It's Baby Central at Casa Knitguy. It seems every relative has been busy in the baby making department and this little number is going to be a sweater for a new guy arriving this May. It doesn't look like much yet but I love the color combination (can you tell, they're very similiar to my blog colors), no?

Speaking of my blog...I know, smooth, huh. Last night I played with my blog template till the wee hours. All that time and all I really successfully did was make the template wider. Then I changed the color combination about 147 times to end up with yes, you guessed it, the same damn colors I started with. But it's wider, did I mention it's wider.

Back to the sweater, the body is done as you can see, as is one sleeve. The other sleeve is on the needles and the hood is all that remains. It's such a lovely little project and perfect for mindless knitting while watching television. It will definitely be completed this weekend since I have yet another 3 day weekend at my disposal. Sometimes, when you get lemons as they say. I cut my hand pretty badly (being an idiot...ooh, ooh, let's cut this big thick wire with this very old razor blade and point it right in the direction of my other hand, WooWho). Needless to say, the razor won and bad cuts and massage therapy do not go together, hence my 3-day weekend.

What's really made this project so enjoyable is I can REALLY see it. I purchased the Knit Lite and this knitting needle with it's illuminated end is amazing. I need tons of light to knit, read or simply do anything really since about the 1st grade so these nifty little guys are really making a difference. If you have any occular (a word, yes?) deficiencies, I encourage you to get a set of these! They're amazing and the invention of my very own local yarn store owners at La Knitterie Parisienne.

Happy 3-day Weekend Everyone! Don't hate me.

Save the Planet - Take Action!

No, not through knitting (although that would be fun) but through political action. Please support Mr. Gore by signing the petition. Mr. Gore will speak before Congress on the 21st so there's not much time so please show your support now. It literally takes 30 seconds. Thank you.

STELLAAAAAAAH

I know I haven't posted in some time but I've been busy and since I just accepted a 1/2 hour long guilt trip from my Mom about not calling, I'm relinquishing myself of any and all blog guilt.

No photos today but an update. The Vagina Blanket is taking painfully long at the finisher. Trust me, I'm getting impatient. In the meantime, I've taught myself to crochet over the past 2 weeks and what I once considered the anti-christ is now a new friend. I'm perfecting my granny squares, no circles and once they are fully perfected, I'll share a sample or two. The process of learning crochet has been so different than knitting. I wanted to learn to knit but I've been so take it or leave it regarding crochet, I'm enjoying the detective work involved in figuring out stitches and the "art" of reading a crochet pattern.

Yet another baby is on the way as well and this time I've decided no blanket but instead this great little hoodie. It's a great little sweater and all garter stitch. I matched the colors exactly with Debbie Bliss Stella which is wonderfully soft and a silk, rayon and cotton blend.
Perfect for baby and washing and washing and washing. I hear they're very messy. The pattern is from Lion Brand and I love their patterns but their yarn is not my cup of tea nor have I found/heard it to stand up to wear and washing. Here's a picture of it except I've chosen chocolate, blue and tan which is how it's depicted in the printed catalog. This is the website shot with the free pattern. I like my color combination much better though.

Other than that, the beaded scarf is now about 12 rows long and every row is a challenge. The challenge is having to stop every 3 stitches to push a bead up to the working needle and then YO to secure the bead in place. It's taking shape and a photo should be in order shortly once the pattern truly reveals itself.

In the news, I could go on about Ann Coulter but others are more eloquently giving us genuinly astute opinions about how the use of the word faggot is not okay to use or appropriate in any setting and akin to all the other slurs we are only allowed to refer to by letter -- as in the "N" word or "C" word so I'll take a different approach and get into it with Ann on her level. You're ugly! Nighty nite!

Gift or Gift Wrap?

Yes, it's true, I finished a project. When I decided to change the yarn for the Vagina Blanket border (which is still at the finisher), I refused to have another skein of yarn collect dust in the stash. So I decided to start yet another project without officially finishing one. I opted for something small and what I think will make great packaging for a gift of socks - a kind of 2 for one! It was so simple, but so adorable I just couldn't resist it. Of course, it didn't use nearly as much yarn as I expected so, yes, there's a half of skein of yarn in the stash. Oy!